I (HEART) DSS

Please note the sarcasm dripping from this post....

Definitions:
A - my daughter
DB - A's douche bag dad
DSS - Dept of Social Services
CS - Child Support
CSE - Child Support Enforcement

DB hasn't paid CS in almost 3 years because he supposedly didn't have a j-o-b. Well, me being the ever savy internet detective as well as knowing a plethera of helpful people - I was finally able to confirm that DB does indeed have a j-o-b. Not only does he have a job, he works for his wife as well. Why is he not paying CS?? That is the million dollar question. Anywho. I gathered up all of my handy dandy detective work and took my happy tail down to DSS. Filled out all the paper work. Sat through a 4 hour group meeting about said paperwork and was told I would either have a check in 6 weeks or be in court in 90 days. Gotta love how informative and efficient these DSS/CSE workers are. It is ahhhmazing. Seriously. They make me want to stab myself in the eye with a spike heel. This was 3, almost 4 weeks ago.....

I called today to see where things were in the process. I am not sure if that is acceptable or not but I didn't give a flying monkey's butt. The ever helpful and overly friendly CS Worker informed me NO LETTER HAS EVEN BEEN SENT TO HIM!!! Are you freaking kidding me?!?! I managed to keep my happy sweet voice in place and asked what the usual turnaround time was for sending out a FORM letter to request he submit his information. The ever helpful lady transferred me to someone else's voice mail. Keeping my chipper voice on, I left a message asking for a return call. The lady that called me back really topped the charts in friendliness. It was overwhelming. I had to pause to catch my breath I was so blown away by it. After a period of oh so pleasent banter and conversation I was able to walk away with this:

- DB will get the letter next week, CS worker has been on vacay.
- DB will then have an appointment within 3 weeks and will be told how much he will have to pay.
- If he agrees, it will be sent to a judge and turned over to CSE. DB will then be responsible for sending me his 1st CS payment(HA!)after it will be taken out of his check.
- If he doesn't agree, we will be in court in November. NOVEMBER?!?
- In the meantime, stop calling.
- The next communication I will receive from CSE will either tell me to appear in court or tell me that DB will be sending me a check.

Really?! They get paid to be this helpful. It is overwhelming I tell ya. Over-freaking-whelming. Grrrrr.....