Hair Raising Update - The Conclusion

I have been avoiding this post for over a week. But I brought you all on the train ride with me so I gotta just rip the band aid off and do it.

K and I are done. Finito. Finished. Over. All because of something really, really stupid. I had a sane train derailment last week that is sending me back to the station. Alone. The short version goes something like this....

FB is evil and stupid. (I still love it though) There was a "random" deleting of friends on K's page last week. He said it was multiple people and he had no clue what was going on. I kind of believed him but I kind of didn't. I questioned him. He got annoyed. I pushed the issue. He got even more annoyed. I pushed a little more. He was an annoyed smarty pants. I walked through the door he opened and unleashed the crazy train. Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous. I let my past hurts, doubts, temper and mouth take over. And I crossed the line. The sad thing is, I don't know what it was that I said that pushed him over the edge. But it was something because he informed me the next day that he wanted me to leave him alone and lose his number. Ouch. Yeah. That hurt. Made a couple of attempts to contact him. No response.

I can own my part. I messed up and acted like an a-hole. I know I have got to let go of some stuff that I have been holding onto for years but after a lot of reflection.....it wasn't all my fault. The punishment ultimately did not fit the crime - again, I don't even know what I said that warranted him telling me to hit the road. He was not perfect, far from it. He could have done some things differently if he really wanted to. If he was "the one" it would not have been that easy to walk away. I would be lying if I said I didn't miss him. I would be lying if I said that I didn't still wonder if he will ever call me again or if we will bump into each other one day. But I am done. I will not reach out to him anymore. You can't lose something you never really had and you don't leave something for nothing.

Everything happens for a reason. There is a reason this did not work. I can honestly say one reason is it showed me something about myself. I learned that I have some more work to do on my past crap. I am going to do that work too. Will I stay on the sane train for the rest of my life?? Probably not. But if you can't handle me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best.

Stay tuned, my dating drama isn't over. I am sure there are a few more freak bags and screws ups around the corner. If nothing else, I will reach into "the Vault" and share more of the stories that turned me into this girl that goes off the rails on the crazy train....