This Christmas

I have a love hate relationship with Christmas. I love the decorations, the music, the feel in the air, the time with friends and family. I love it all. At the same time I hate the stress of doing everything and of being single during it all. I know I am not "alone". I get it. But I wish I had a special someone to share it all with....a significant other, special someone. I have been a bit bummed the past several days. It sounds stupid and selfish but it is true. There was no way I was going to let my sweet baby girl know it though. So I plastered a smile to my face and found some pep in my step and pulled myself together. And it actually turned out to be one of the best Christmases ever. There is nothing like experiencing Christmas through the eyes of a child, ever. Even better though, is when they actually get it. When they actually understand the excitement and anticipation. Addie got it this year. Really got it. She literally quivered with anticipation.....and this morning the anticipation was over. The look on her face and the squeal of delight when she came down the stairs was beyond awesome. I have got to load the videos on YouTube or something so that I can share a tiny bit of her joy. It wiped all of my "stuff" away and made all the stress and b.s. seem so silly. I am truly blessed and I know it. Sometimes I just need a gentle reminder. A reminder to appreciate what I do have and not worry about what I don't have....that's all. Don't judge me.